However, anyone who has joined me in this activity of expanding the mind & intellect will hopefully have noticed the strange contrast between the discussions taking place in cyberspace & those made via vibrating our vocal chords & eardrums. Generally speaking, (get it?!) when we walk past someone we know in the street we tend to, at the very very least, look at them in a relatively inoffensive way, often achieved by attempting to smile or nod. Otherwise we may use our communicative sensory apparatus to call out words such as 'hello', 'hi', or my personal favourite, 'heiaghff...' (a sort of neutral grunt offered when you are unsure if the other person is planning on responding)
I'm sure I don't have to go into the art of conversation, which can differer in competence from person to person, but generally this is a pleasant & friendly activity. Only very occasionally is this practise engaged to hurl abuse & insults between people, as most of us prefer to enjoy human company rather than spoil it by calling your next door neighbour a '(...........)'.
But the conventions of human conversation do not seem to be followed so avidly when happening online. In fact, a great proportion of them seem to function (or disfunction) in ways entirely contrary to this standard. After reading an article by Laurie Penny about how we should be careful about attitudes to rape I scanned through some of the comments made to see what the online Newstatesman readers were feeling about this issue. Unfortunately the level of conversation was a bit weird. Here are just a few extracts from the public comments:
'I'm afraid this entire piece is nothing but sixth-form drivel'
'utter tosh'
(This one was so horrific it verges on being hilarious) 'As a male who has never felt the urge to force my attentions on a woman, I would however ask the ladies here, "Is it sensible to dress like the cast of a porno movie for a night out?"'
(This person was actively scary) 'Women are at least partly to blame if they intentionally dress provocatively...' (According to them) 'That's just a common sense FACT!'
Not only did some of the comments posted disregard the social manners & morays, that essentially exist so that we don't all become chronically depressed, but some of them are quite clearly openly sexist & misogynistic. Even if you find some elements of Laurie's article slightly contentious it is difficult to see how calling her 'some silly little student girl' is acceptable. Indeed this is clearly an attempt to both make Laurie Penny feel bad about herself & perpetrating an obvious sexist stereotype. I am a student, and those fellow students around me I would categorise as being 'silly' in a pejorative sense, not only make up a very small number but seem obviously equal between sexes. Even if I felt that the majority of the silly people I had met were women, I seriously doubt this is due to their sex, and far more likely to be due to aspects of character I find silly.
Indeed, say the person who left this comment does normally engage in polite conversation; however, in a particular instance they had lost their rag because they had become exasperated with the other person's point of view it may be more understandable, because they are human, for them to insult the other person by calling them 'silly', or words to that effect. Although this is not very nice, it is non specific & clearly separate to saying 'some silly little student girl'. This is an attack on specific elements of the other persons character which are both uncontrollable & inoffensive when separated from the rest of the sentence. It is making a statement that there are 'some' people out there who are silly just for the reasons of being a student or being a girl. That is why this comment is so nasty, even though 'silly' is not a particularly effective insult anymore. Especially when you have this to contend with.
But why this level online, & why do people become so vocally abusive over polite, inoffensive, but critical opinion pieces they have decided to read? I say this with concern because there has recently been an increase in misogynistic & hateful attacks to public figures such as Laurie Penny & other prominent women. (ARTICLE)
It is possibly because people feel anonymous when typing something from the other end of an internet connection. They are for some reason less inclined to experience the other person's reaction to their streams of abuse. Obviously this is because they are not physically with them to notice it, but also & I would argue more importantly, because they do not put themselves in the shoes of the recipient. So it is really brought about by a lack of empathy which is brought to the surface by not witnessing the consequences of what you choose to say. So it would be wrong to criticise the medium of online debate. It is restrictive & oppressive to ban the comment sections. It is also better not to be fearful of reactions to being honest about what you think.
What is needed is empathy: Imagine what it means to the other person if a significant group of others ruthlessly & rudely insult them. That is essentially bullying.
So remember your manners!
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